LSPM: Rant on Studying in School of Medicine. Egypt.

Assalamualaikum.

O mighty Allah, please fulfill my dream to further studies in MBBS. Amiin. I dont mind if only in local universities.

Lately, berapa kali dah aku buat parents aku, especially my Dad disappointed of me, myself. Im sorry, Dad. Serious talk. And what goes around,comes around and what you give, you give back. We call that as hukum alam. Karma. or what-so-ever phrases that can replace them. And this happened to me.

After completing my giga big SPM examinations,and received the results of the examninations, I can't help it by hating my self. I cant believe what I scored in the examinations. I scored 9As and 1B. (6A+ 3A 1B+). I dont even have any A- and look, I got B+. Aint this crazy. I was like.. I screamed, yelled to myself, scolded myself for being this stupid. I cried cried and cried.

With this kind of result, surely, I can't apply for MARA and JPA. IBDP is gone. UK.
I applied some sort of foundation bodies, like Khazanah.. Yayasan Terengganu and all that I got is disappointment.  How frustrated I was.

Yayasan Pahang do give opportunities and giving scholarship/eduloan for those who scored 8As and above. I didn't apply for it as, I'm not thinking of studying medicine in UIAM(the scholarship just for studying in UIAM) and I have no basic in Arabic which is totally like thrown me in CFS IIUM for two years. The duration of two years are like killing me. I wanted to studies in medicine or also known as MBBS/MD. The duration is quite long and... for me, tough. I have friends who are studying there and reading posts from student there, they said they really love to be a part of CFS IIUM but, it is quite competitive to studying in critical courses. Note that IIUM most of the student who got Founfation in Medicine mostly consist of SPM leavers who scored straight As and obtained many As.. I bet about 7 A+, maybe...

A couple weeks back, I joined a closed gorup Halatuju Pendidikan Selepas SPM. The issue is that... Yesterday and today, people keep of saying about furthering studies in Egypt. Deep in my heart I am disappointed and tired of myself.
After obtaining the result of SPM, I did whatever it takes to further studies in Egypt. I called, here, there, some foudations if there is any scholarship available. But hell, there's no. And when I was tired of accepting "No", "Sorry" or something like that, I stopped looking for scholarships. Nak pakai sponsorship pakailah tapi the point is, to negara orang. we dont know much and takde satu body pun yang betul2 akan jaga kita without a good foundation macam yayasan negeri, MARA and JPA. because dua agency ni kerajaan  and yayasan under kerjaan negeri, okeyy. So aku sibukkan diri aku dengan driving class lessons. 

Even though the driving class was held only about once or twice a week. I busied myself with some stupid things because of my fear of, my disappointment of well, there's not really much scholarship for me, as I got B+ for English. I did print out the form from Kemeterian Pengajian Tinggi, the form to apply for studying in Egypt, Cairo. Those clearance letter I had done filling them. But I din't sent. And yesterday, people in the group keep on talking about the results came out, I have the chance to further studies in Egypt and so on... Even more of then still has not scholarship, no loan applicable but, and most probably are self-spondored, deep in my heart... its killing me. And somehow, there's senior give some advices... motivates them that, dont worry, Egypt is okay, no corp d'etat, peace and so on, there got some organisation for malaysian students, you can apply for ZAKAT, foudation from your state, YAKIN, Yayasan Bank Rakyat and so on... most of them, saying about the chances who applied from KPT to further studies in Egypt are high and so on.

And I really, in a broken heart. O mighty Allah... I can't handle this feeling...

I want to be a part of Medical Students who are studying in Egypt. Seriously talk. So it's like...
totally...killing me.