LSPM: Love Script from Him.

Assalamualaikum.

Tasya, Zakirah and me

I just came back from meeting my friend. Best friend. Nur Hazirah. Telling the truth, I have no idea how wonderful God made us meet each other after separated for about 10 years. The last time I met her when I was 6 years old. And then, I met her again last year, when I was 17. So surprising and, the moment when we knew we were best friend before, the moment she knows I am THAT, Aishah, and I know that she is THAT, Hazirah. We thanked Allah SWT and amazed how wonderful Allah SWT's script.
 20-23 June 2014.
The program known as Jejak Gemilang PiSSA. Pissa stands for Projek Itervensi Semua Subject A1. Totally sponsored by Yayasan Pahang. about 240 students all around Pahang was chosen(I can still recall how the emcee kept saying that we are the chosen one.. the chosen one.. the chosen one. Macam Harry Potter lah pulak. hihi). Plus, the 4 days 3 night camp was held at Bukit Gambang Resort City. So I was like. whoaaa. And Yayasan Pahang sponsored about RM 1k per person including weekly tuition fees at SABS. Actually they have lots of centre and I got into SABS, Sultan Abu Bakar School. Every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. 3-5pm
So back to the camp.
Students from SABS(consist of SMK TC, SMK TA, SMK IM, and others im not sure. but no SMK AA cause they went to SMART) arrived BGRC at Arabian Bay. I think so. Im not sure. Actually, few weeks before, I was there for my Mum's retirement ceremony. So, like, I was there, actually. And after checking in, my teacher was counting number of students per chalet. Each chalet consists of 2 rooms and two bathroom. A kitchen and a living room. After counting, pusat from SMART lack of two person. Because it should be 8 persons per room. Since the room consist of my friend's friend, Amira Natasya, Zakirah volunteer us to joined with SMART's group. SMK TA only sent two persons which is me and Zakirah. Basically, only Amira was from SMK AA, the others from SMART. I noted that students from SMART and Maahad Tahfiz consists of the largest number of students participated.
I'm not sure what is the MoU between Natasya and her friends from SMART, but, Tasya, Zakirah and I given a room. While the other 5 shared in a room. haha. nampak tak tak seimbang di situ.
The camp was awesome. Well, the lectures was fully in the ballroom. The food is amazing. Typical hotel food. Banyak pilihan(buffet) and well, terlampau banyak. Haha. tambahan pulak Zakirah and I suka makan. So. Well, we dont want the food being thrown away just like that. So, eheh.
Petang ada sort of riadah, then, we can have a walk around BGRC. actually the system is quite not safe. I went out one night. With Tasya. around 12 o'clock. If you went to BGRC, from our chalet to lobby is far away. and dark. and no one's there. No teachers. No guards. And even a worker came to our chalet at night. And teachers don't even t noticed.
Untill 22 June. The evening. around 6p.m. something, i was bored. my housemates were all gone. some were watching Running Man. Some were out. and some were sleeping. So I decided to watch TV while reading Biology at the living room. after about half an hour, Hazirah came out.(I not yet know that she is THE Hazirah).
We chatted.
Hazirah: Sekolah rendah dulu awak sekolah mana?
Me: Kong Min. Kat Beserah.
Hazirah: Ohh. awak pandai cakap cina lah ye?
Me: Alhamdulillah boleh.
H: Awak duduk kat ne?
Me: Kat Beserah. Awak?
H: Kat Pelindung. dekat dengan D Embassy
M: Oh. saya ada kawan sekolah tadika duduk kat situ dulu. dia dulu sekolah SMART jugak. Lepas tu pindah KISAS.
H: nama dia apa?
M: Haha. saya pun tak ingat. dekat 10 tahun tak jumpa. Tapi mak dia doktor.Kenal tak sesiapa yang mak dia doc kat area tu?
H: Erm takde saya rasa.
M: ohh.
H: Tapi mak saya doc.
Aku terdiam. remain silent for a while. Rasa macam. Aku angkat muka dari buku. Aku pandang muka dia. Deep. Tenung. MasyaAllah. I remember like, samar samar face of Hazirah when she was small. Then. Mulut I ternganga. Dia pun aku rasa. HAHA.
M: Awak sekolah Assunta dulu?
H: Haah.
Then I was like. I screamed. Haha
Tiba-tiba Zakirah keluar dengan rambut serabainya. HAHA. baru lepas bangun tidur lah tu. I told her what happened. Aku macam tak percaya. The person the I was looking for, yang I missed so much is right in front of me. Petang keesokan harinya dah nak balik, baru dapat tahu. How I wish we known each other lebih awal. Like, the first day. tulah. Masa awal-awal taknak taaruf. Terus masuk bilik mandi.
Tapi memang rasa macam. Kalau Zakirah tak kenal Tasya, Tasya takkan ajak kita orang tidur sebilik dengan dia. Dan kalau Tasya tak ajak tidur dalam bilik dia, aku takkan jumpa baliz Hazirah lagi, aku rasa. Dan, kalau cukup orang satu chalet dorang, mesti sampai harini aku takkan contact hazirah lagi.

Actually, I wasn't really sure why I post hese things. Love you, Hazirah

Hazirah, belah kanan I

LSPM: Rant on Studying in School of Medicine. Egypt.

Assalamualaikum.

O mighty Allah, please fulfill my dream to further studies in MBBS. Amiin. I dont mind if only in local universities.

Lately, berapa kali dah aku buat parents aku, especially my Dad disappointed of me, myself. Im sorry, Dad. Serious talk. And what goes around,comes around and what you give, you give back. We call that as hukum alam. Karma. or what-so-ever phrases that can replace them. And this happened to me.

After completing my giga big SPM examinations,and received the results of the examninations, I can't help it by hating my self. I cant believe what I scored in the examinations. I scored 9As and 1B. (6A+ 3A 1B+). I dont even have any A- and look, I got B+. Aint this crazy. I was like.. I screamed, yelled to myself, scolded myself for being this stupid. I cried cried and cried.

With this kind of result, surely, I can't apply for MARA and JPA. IBDP is gone. UK.
I applied some sort of foundation bodies, like Khazanah.. Yayasan Terengganu and all that I got is disappointment.  How frustrated I was.

Yayasan Pahang do give opportunities and giving scholarship/eduloan for those who scored 8As and above. I didn't apply for it as, I'm not thinking of studying medicine in UIAM(the scholarship just for studying in UIAM) and I have no basic in Arabic which is totally like thrown me in CFS IIUM for two years. The duration of two years are like killing me. I wanted to studies in medicine or also known as MBBS/MD. The duration is quite long and... for me, tough. I have friends who are studying there and reading posts from student there, they said they really love to be a part of CFS IIUM but, it is quite competitive to studying in critical courses. Note that IIUM most of the student who got Founfation in Medicine mostly consist of SPM leavers who scored straight As and obtained many As.. I bet about 7 A+, maybe...

A couple weeks back, I joined a closed gorup Halatuju Pendidikan Selepas SPM. The issue is that... Yesterday and today, people keep of saying about furthering studies in Egypt. Deep in my heart I am disappointed and tired of myself.
After obtaining the result of SPM, I did whatever it takes to further studies in Egypt. I called, here, there, some foudations if there is any scholarship available. But hell, there's no. And when I was tired of accepting "No", "Sorry" or something like that, I stopped looking for scholarships. Nak pakai sponsorship pakailah tapi the point is, to negara orang. we dont know much and takde satu body pun yang betul2 akan jaga kita without a good foundation macam yayasan negeri, MARA and JPA. because dua agency ni kerajaan  and yayasan under kerjaan negeri, okeyy. So aku sibukkan diri aku dengan driving class lessons. 

Even though the driving class was held only about once or twice a week. I busied myself with some stupid things because of my fear of, my disappointment of well, there's not really much scholarship for me, as I got B+ for English. I did print out the form from Kemeterian Pengajian Tinggi, the form to apply for studying in Egypt, Cairo. Those clearance letter I had done filling them. But I din't sent. And yesterday, people in the group keep on talking about the results came out, I have the chance to further studies in Egypt and so on... Even more of then still has not scholarship, no loan applicable but, and most probably are self-spondored, deep in my heart... its killing me. And somehow, there's senior give some advices... motivates them that, dont worry, Egypt is okay, no corp d'etat, peace and so on, there got some organisation for malaysian students, you can apply for ZAKAT, foudation from your state, YAKIN, Yayasan Bank Rakyat and so on... most of them, saying about the chances who applied from KPT to further studies in Egypt are high and so on.

And I really, in a broken heart. O mighty Allah... I can't handle this feeling...

I want to be a part of Medical Students who are studying in Egypt. Seriously talk. So it's like...
totally...killing me.