Rant on this Journey

2 years ago, I started my journey in this medical program, without knowing the dark side of this course, what it has to offer and how it made me apart from my family and somehow,  creating new bonds with so many people that I had never imagined before.

No one ever told me that I will be facing 10 examinations within 2 years including one Professional Exam. And no one ever told me that ill be having extra exams for my generic and elective courses each semesters. The pressure, well, no one ever exposed it to me or I was too ignorant about the facts of a medical students. Well, social media is where people masked it with all the happiness of their lives with only 2% of their pathetic story.

I stepped into this medical world with so many stories that were untold. That only you will know once you stepped into this programme.

Despite of all the dark side, the hardships that I had gone through, it made me appreciate of those small little things, which you will take it as granted unless it is taken away from you, before.

Housemates, foster family, research, my team of APYQs, it was a tremendous experience that will forever be in here, in middle mediastinum (read:heart).

Seizing the good and take the bad things as a part of a learning process, is something that you cant run away. When life give you a lemon, make yourself a lemonade. If life knocks you down, rise up, even no one is there, offering their hands.

Dear parents, or future parents,

If one day your kid got straight A’s for SPM,  CGPA 4.0 for their foundation/pre-degree or any equivalent result  that qualified them to be in the medical programme, please, please, please don’t ever forced them into this programme, unless they are really willing to suffer, and have a great enthusiasm to be part of this healing profession, then go on. Or else, you’re going to lose you kid, and they’re going to hate you for their lifetime.

Parents of medical students,

Give your whole support to them, be a good listener. Monitor them and extra careful when they have nothing much to tell. Don’t let their feeling get buried deep inside into their heart.

It was a pathetic situation seeing my batch mates sleep for just 4 hours daily, coffees in their blood, becoming depressed with all kind of exams, expectations by the mentors and so on. Some even don’t sleep during examination week.

Well, we, medical students knew the importance of sleep during the night and how it helps us with memory consolidation but we are to scare of sleep because of the deadlines, the notes hat piled up like no endings. Thinking like sleeping soundly for a decent 6-7 hours is a crime (well definitely sometimes, I AM part of them. I cant help it.).

For the past two years I’ve been comforting myself that exams is something but not everything. Aishah is going to be well. Keep repeating that, I was, and am.

The take home message(amboi)  from this lengthy post is that, we will be always be thinking that this is something, I need to score this, I think I did it badly, I feel bad, I think making me breathing wasted the oxygen supply of the Earth. (Ok over, hyperbola tahap petala kelapan), the thing is that,

Have some of your time to enjoy, to count the teardrop from the leaves, to dance in the rain, or just listen to the purr of a cat while they’re eating or sleeping.

Have some of you time, spare them to your family especially parents, put them before everything else. If you doubtig of going back home or not, then you should really go back home. They only lives once, and you know in the future, you would wish that you spend more time with them, and make them as your utmost priority.

Have some time and sit back, let others that wanted to surpass you badly, surpasses you. There are things that worth your wrinkles, so make sure you use them well in a useful, on more important tasks.

Love, Aishah.